The Lord of the Pringles : The Groupies of the
by gingernutt
Summary: A low sarcastic paradoy of the first Lord of the rings film with a few extra plots and characters.
1. The Beginning of a new Era

The Lord of the Pringles Authors note: This series is based purely on the films and the names have been changed for copyright reasons. I will in no way make money from this and I do not, I repeat, I do not own the characters, breeds, species etc. Now on with my first ever fan fic.  
  
The First Book : The groupies of the Pringles  
  
Chapter one : The beginning of a new era  
  
One upon a time, in a land not too far away and not too pricey to get to with plenty of decent tourist attractions, shopping centres with decent parking, there were 6 magical pringles created. 7 were given to the elves who were wonderful yet ever so dim and vain, 4 to the men who above all things loved power money and the internet hence the reason they sold them on ebay to a bunch of camels, 2 to the dwarves and the rest were given out on a game show, the contestants had to name at least 20 episodes of star trek with actions to show what happened. What these fools did not know was that there was a master pringle forged in the fires of Mt. Dong by the dark lord Saramanda, the pringle controlled all the pringles in the world! Inscribed upon it in some ancient form of Flemish were the words : One pringle to rule them all, one pringle to find them, one pringle to bring them together, and in the darkness make them sing songs round a campfire.  
  
Saramanda couldn't be stopped at anything with the magical pringle so she took over anything related to do with rock music and turned it all classical. It was only at Ozzfest that her evil yet practical and resourceful plan was abolished. After making Ozzy Osbourne play violin his daughter, Kelly then took up her father guitar and poked Saramnda till she couldn't stand it any longer and by accident, she dropped the pringle. She exploded for no apparent reason and everything was restored to its usual rock and roll self.  
  
Having a great deal of love and respect for food, Kelly decided not to destroy the pringle in the fiery Mt. Dong but instead, she decided to keep it as a pet, she named it Magdonna. A lot of other boring mystical boring stuff happened to the ring and, at one point, a sea like crab creature had it for 5000 years! This was until a hairy, fat hobbit with a fetish for lycra took it and brought it back with him to the shouthend. The strange hairy, fat hobbit was called Bigalo Baguette, the great uncle, twice removed on his step grand mothers side to Frogo. 


	2. Frogo's reunion and lycra

Chapter 2 Frogos Reunion and Lycra  
  
The sun peered brightly through he quickly lightening sky. Frogo quickly got out of bed, ( you know the one with grumpy initialled of the bed head, ) pulled on some socks, realised that it was a huge fashion no no and quickly pulled them off again, put them in a blender and left them in the freezer to eat later.  
  
Across the road, Stuey got up from his giant bed, kissed the inflatable hobbit that lay by his side, read his bed head which read GAP, smiled and rushed over to Frogo's house. Sadly Frogo was up, out of bed, changed and sitting by a tree as he usually did everyday, staring at the corn he was chewing waiting for a random wizard who happens to be an old and very dear friend who will eventually make you lose your finger, toe, belly bottom, friends, family, earth, life, I'm sorry did I get carried away?  
  
To everyone's surprise, Frogo, using his supersonic powered x-ray vision and heat sensor in one magical power, (also available in blue, green and white with CD changer as standard,) Frogo gets into a telephone box, changes into his Superman costume, (including lycra, hair gel and lycra pants,) and runs down to an adequately placed road where a wizard happens to be driving past.  
  
Gangel, the wizard (who appears to be wearing some sort of old dressing gown and an upside down funnel on his head, ) looks up in complete shock to see a small hairy hobbit covered in lyrcra standing right were he was passing. You're late, and are you wearing eyeliner?" the springy lycra covered hobbit queried, "I'm not late I'm actually early so up yours, and I would never be seen wearing eyeliner, that's what my extra large and bushy eyebrows are for!" The wizard seemed to reply but, you cannot see his lips due to his amount of hair, (why so much hair why!)  
  
They stared at each ( I swear Gangel licked his lips and gave Frogo a kinky wink,) and then they both burst out laughing at the sight of one another! Very strange. Gangel seemed to have a small hairy hobbit thrusted into his arms in the next moments in a whirlwind of passion and emotion. Then, all of a sudden, some hairy children raced up behind Gangel and Frogo's clinch and nicked Gangel's fireworks. Gangel instantly got out his magical.......................spatula with a pretty led messily glued on top, and ran after them pointing his spatula at them and swearing at them in ancient russian. Naturally frightened of a possibly gay old man wearing nothing but an old dressing gown, (which was flapping open in the wind,) wearing a upside down funnel on his head, waving a piece of kitchen ware at them and swearing at them in russian, dropped the fireworks that had been down their hobbit sized adidas tracksuit bottoms and ran! 


End file.
